Exploring the possibility of having an open relationship can start off fun, flirty and sexy. But things quickly become complicated simply because that’s the nature of human relationships. You start to realize that opening up your relationship will mean navigating a host of issues like jealousy, emotional intimacy and unhealthy secrecy. But we’re definitely not here to judge or discourage your exploration! If you’re curious about an open relationship, and if thinking about it turns you on, then it’s definitely something to look into. But before you jump in, take note of these tips for ground rules that will help you make it work, have fun, and share the love.
Rule #1: Don’t indulge your jealousy
Jealousy is completely normal, you’re only human. And people in open relationships can get jealous too because there’s no way of turning it off. But the key is not to indulge your jealousy. After all, you’ve chosen to open up your relationship for the sake of bringing more fun and excitement in your life.
Learn to deal with feelings of jealousy in a mature way. This means, instead of sulking or being irritable, you tell your partner how you’re feeling and take a moment to connect with each other as a couple. Don’t let jealousy kill your fun, remind yourself you’ve chosen to share your partner so that both of you can have more fun.
Rule #2: Set your boundaries
Just because you’re in an open relationship doesn’t mean you’re now in a free-for-all. Trust and respect are still important because without those basic values there isn’t really a relationship anymore. Talk to your partner to figure out what you both consider off-limits. One common boundary is not to have sleepovers with the new lovers, because this can be considered too intimate and special for anyone but your primary partner.
Some couples prefer not to have sex with a new partner more often than once or twice a month. The rules can vary but you must get together to create them so that the relationship boundaries can be understood and respected.
Rule # 3: Keep your one-on-one time special
Now that you’re seeing other people, making time for romance and sexyness between just the two of you is even more important. You’re choosing to share your time and sexuality with other partners, and this is great. But make sure you focus on your significant other to deepen your connection and attraction.
Rule #4: No Secrets
An open relationship has to be exactly that, open! This means communication is key, not only with your partner but also with your new lovers. You should never hide that you have a partner when you meet someone new. Take into consideration their feelings and give them the opportunity to figure out if they want to get funky with you once they know you’re already involved with someone else. Similarly, you must never keep secrets from your partner.
This is what breeds resentment and jealousy, as well as creates an invisible distance between yourself and your loved one. Tell everyone everything and then you can enjoy your sexy fun, guilt-free.